I am an atheist when the wind is north-northwest.

I am an atheist north by northwest.

But when the wind is southerly, I know a deity from a deist.

If you were to tell me your god is a person like you, I would tell you I am an atheist.

But if you tell me you believe in no god, I will testify the world is full of them.

If you were to tell me there is only one true god, I would tell you I contain multitudes.

But if you tell me your gods are many, I will tell you I have faith in an unseen unity.

If you were to tell me my gods are just in my head, I would point to the earth and say, “Praise!”

But if you tell me your gods are real, I will point to your head and say, “Behold!”

If you were to tell me your god is good, I would offer to sell you some more.

But if you tell me your gods are dark, I will remind you of the words of the oracle: “Know thyself.”

If you were to tell me you don’t know about the gods, I would call you wise.

But if you tell me you don’t care about the gods, I will not call you at all.

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